KidOfTheBlackHole Reacts To: Yoshinface/Chapter 1
kidoftheblackhole: What's up guys, kidoftheblackhole here, but I'm calling myself Kyle from here, because fuck you! We're reacting to Erika's fic on Leatherface/Yoshino slash. It was a hot day in rural Texas. There, a van was driving on State Road 17. Kyle: The van later crashed, killing everyone in it. In this van, there were 5. Shido was driving, Tohka was in the passenger seat, Kotori was in the middle seat along with Origami. Kyle: WEEB! And Yoshino, along with her puppet Yoshinon, were at the back. Kyle: Who the fuck are these Japanimation bullshit characters? "How long till we reached to the next gas-station?", asked Tohka. Kyle: "Reached to" implies past tense, as well as a distinct lack of knowledge about English. "I don't know, the GPS doesn't know, we're basically in the middle of nowhere!", said Shido. Kyle: Then why even activate the GPS? "By the way, Shido, where in the world are we even going?", asked Yoshino. Kyle: We're going to meet a serial killer who some dumbass thought would be a good partner for you. No time to explain. "Well, we're going to Albuquerque to meet my parents. It should be fu as they got video games!", said Shido. Kyle: Video games aren't fun, boasting about having a six-digit ICQ number is. Also, what's "fu"? "Games? COOL!!! I WANNA PLAY ALL THE GAMES IN THE WORLD!!!", shouted Yoshinon. Kyle: Puppets don't have human vocal anatomy. Also, do you really wanna play RapeLay? "They're not thi rich! And besides, what kind of elderly would even have games?", questioned Kotori. Kyle: What's "thi"? Also, elderly people could have games, and I don't think Kotori's old enough to have elderly parents. "Those who grew up in the 80s!", joked Origami. Kyle: "Origami"? That's even worse than my birth name! As they were traveling down, Kotori spotted something unusual. Kyle: Travelling down three long feet of pleasure? Here, she spots a man giving a thumbs up signal. Kyle: Excuse me? "IT'S A HITCHHIKER!!! PULL OVER!!!", shouted Kotori. Kyle: You don't pull over for a hitch-hiker, that's how you get killed! The van pulls ov and the man gets in the middle seat. Kyle: How does one "pull ov"? "Name's Nubbins.", he said. Nubbins was a strange man. His right che4 was slightly swelled up, he had black hair that drooped from the back and had hazel eyes. Kyle: A "che4"? Is that alien anatomy? (also Nubbins looks pretty close to how I do IRL) "Where the heck have you've been?", asked Tohka. Kyle: "Have you have"? "I was at the slaughterhouse. They've kicked me out because I wasn't killing the damn animals right! How rude of them!" Nubbins exclaimed Kyle: You worked there! "Interesting", said Origami, "My brother is working in a slaughterhouse in Maine. They get the cows locked up in a cage, and they will use a sledgehammer to hit the cow and knock him or her out. Kyle: That's what a slaughterhouse is for, you bollock! It would take 2 or 3 times usually, and the cow faces extreme pain from it". Kyle: Of course a cow faces pain from dying! "How sad", said Yoshino, "humans shouldn't kill animals like that, especially for food!". Kyle: See, there's a thing called "protein" "But that was back then. They now inject the cows with some drugs and puts them out in a painless death.", says Origami. Kyle: Let me guess, Yoshino goes "Yeah but they're stitll dying!!!!1!!!!!!11111" "Well here is some photos I've took from the slaughterhouse. These photos are kinda graphic, and if you don't think you can handle some cow blood, Kyle: What kind of spineless person can't handle blood? Nubbins said as he past out the photos. Kyle: Did Nubbins later present in the photos? They depicted of workers using toots to dissect the cow as well as the raw meat. Kyle: Can you give your bro Kyle an English translation of this shit? Yoshino didn't looked at the photos, and everyone but Origami and Nubbins looked disgusted. Kyle: I can't wait for them to see Lemon Party. "I'm going vegan after this!", exclaimed Tohka. "Same for me! This is flat out nasty!", said Kotori. Kyle: You know that cows don't necessarily have to die to become meat, provided you get DNA from one? "Well how would you like to come to my house for dinner? We can have fun together!", said Nubbins. Kyle: The sex tape is up on piratebay.org if you're interested. "I'm sorry, but we're going to New Mexico, but thanks for the offer.", said Shido. Kyle: In this case, why did you get Stubbins in your van? Something about Nubbins said otherwise. He began to chuckle by the wording of it, then he pulled out a pocket knife. The handling of it was white with the blade being slightly rusted. Kyle: I've seen enough snuff films to know where this one's going. Mister.... what are you going to do with that?", Yoshino asked. "Something I like to call..." Kyle: Is Marioyes or Studmuffins saying that? Before Nubbins can finish his sentence, he points the blade at him and then proceeds to cut the palm of his left hand. Blood covered the hand and the arm. Kyle: I'll put the piratebay.org link in the description! "HOLY SHIT!!! HE JUST GUTTED HIS HAND OPEN!!!", shouted Tohka. "HAVE YOU'VE GONE MAD?!?!", yelled Kotori. "YOU STUPID MAN!!! WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?!?!", barked Origami. Kyle: Excuse me, are you yelling at him for self-harm? I wouldn't be surprised if he snaps next! Yoshino was crying and hugging Yoshinon. Nubbins then proceeded to pull out a 1967 Canon camera and take a picture of the shocked crew. The photo comes out, and Nubbins takes a look at it. Kyle: Oh yeah, don't forget the Imgur link. "Care to buy it?", asked Nubbins. "No way, Jose!", exclaimed Tohka. Kyle: Why would Studmuffins share a photo of that? This made Nubbins even more angrier. To show off his loss of sanity. He grabbed Origami's arm and used the knife to cut her arm. Origami screamed as blood began to drench the arm. Kyle: WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM A HITCHHIKER? YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOT! I HOPE THAT KILLS YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! GET OUT OF MY VAN!!!", yelled Shido as the door opened and Nubbins was thrown out. The door closed and the van speed off. Kyle: So someone lets their guard down and pays the price! That's your fault, anime character! "YOU STUPID SLUTS!!!", Nubbins yelled, "I WILL GET YOU SOON!!!". Kyle: Origami bled to death later that day. Meanwhile, Kotori was using a First Aid kit to cover up the cut and stop the bleeding. Kyle: To no effect. "S-shido... why did Nubbins do that?", asked Yoshino in a sad, shyvoice. Kyle: You trusted the hitchhiker, you walnut! "Look! A gas station! We can go there and get gas as well as see if we can find some more medical toots to save her arrn!", said Tohka. The van pulls over to the gas station. Kyle: She's dead, you twat! Shido and Kotori both stay at the van to get gas. Origami, Tohka, and Yoshino all go in the gas station to grab another First Aid kit as well as apple juice for Yoshino. The clerk at the gas station was a man with grey hair. Kyle: APPLE JUICE? How old is random weeaboo appeal character? Five? Oh wait, she's fourteen? What seems to be the problem?", the clerk asked. "Some psycho got in our van and cut her hand, and we need a first aid kit to help her:, said Tohka. "Well that doesn't seem pleasant" , said the clerk, "Hopefully, she stays safe!". Kyle: Correction: You let a random hitchhiker into the van and paid the price. The 3 buy the items and go outside, The van had now been full of gas, and the trip continues. Kyle: When had it been full of gas? Just an hour later, the van stops at an abandoned house. The 5 get out to explore the building. Kyle: When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? WEEB-BUSTERS! "It's not every day we see abandoned mansions!", said Shido. "Well it does look cool. I wonder who else lives there...", said Tohka. "Can't we just go?", said Yoshino. Kyle: There's more filler in this story than there is in Erika's head! "Well me and Tohka are both going to explore this mini•forest. We'll be back!", said Kotori as the two go in the forest. Kyle: Tohka and Kotori's bodies were never found. "Well this looks nice:', said Tohka. "I know. Imagine living here, said Kotori. Kyle: Who lives in a forest besides people from secluded tribes? However, the two hear a sound. The sound sounded like a engine running. As the two get closer, the sound becomes louder. When they get out of the forest, they see a generator that is running. The source that is being powered from the generator is unknown, but when the two look at above the fence, they see a farmhouse. A white farmhouse where flowers and crops border it. Kyle: That's how you get killed! I'm ending this chapter here. Will update when I can. Kyle: Never update this again. Category:Fanfic Category:Kid Reacts Category:Kid and Usna Mock Neko